Manchester United - but not feutt'bo as I knew it

It was varra sad last neet to see Barcelona beat Manchester United in t'Champions League final. Maks m'think aboot the past. When I was a laal bairn being browte up on m'fayther's farm at Arlecdon we nivver had feutt'bo. Well nut as ta knows it now. It was'nt invented then really. But we did gaa to Workington sum times to see t'Uppies an Doonies on an Easter Tuesday. Now that was real feutt'bo, for real men. Nean of this lassie-lad stuff t'sees wid them fancy players who git mare money each week than most of us see in a lifetime. I'll tell ta a greatt deal mare aboot Uppies and Doonies given time. But yer word for today is -

Feutt bo - football, 'Uppies and Doonies play feutt bo ivry Easter at Wukinton'.

If this post is a little hard to understand I'll tell yer more aboot t'difficult words in t'next few posts. Tak care now.